Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
Blogs > gattomonstrosis > Never eat yellow snow. |
Compromise
Compromise I was thinking idly this morning about conversations i've had with men and women on various sites where they go on and on about what they did for their ex, things they gave up, changes they made in their life and then i remembered someone else in a chatroom talking about not putting insane pressure on a partner by relying on them to provide everything good in your life for you. It got me thinking, i am a firm believer in compromise, i believe that it takes work to make a relationship and that each person has a little to give to it, things to sacrifice that get in the way, but any changes you make should be changes you want to make not begrudge, anything you give up should be something you want to give up, or at least don't mind. Don't get me wrong, i'm not saying don't change yourself, don't compromise, i'm saying do it for the right reason, do it because you have wanted to make those changes and were just never motivated enough until you were with someone it was important to, do it for you, don't lay it all on pleasing the other person, on being what you think they want you to be so they'll like you. Sure they might like the faked version of you better if you give up smoking or porn or weed, lose weight, dye your hair or whatever it is that makes you not quite the dreamboat you think they're looking for, but it won't really be you, and wasn't it you they were interested in in the first place? if you don't really want to make a change in your life or habits for yourself then it's hard to see how that won't leave some niggling resentment festering away in the background, it might be buried deep but it's likely to be brought out to be shoved in their faces if or when things go south and trotted out as a litany of woe forever after when detailing to the next one exactly why all those people in the past it never worked with were at fault for everything that ever went wrong, the whole "I'm a nice guy i've just been with bitches" syndrome. Compromise is good, compromise is necessary, but if you have to change everything you are to be with someone then perhaps you weren't right for each other in the first place. |
|||
|
compromise should be something you do because you care about someone. They're important to you. And since they're important to you, you want them to be happy. If making a compromise is something you feel right about, something you don't mind changing or giving up because it will make your partner happy...and ultimately make you happy...then do it. If it's something that will leave you unhappy, angry or feeling used, then you shouldn't do it. Your motivations are wrong and it will come back to haunt you
|
Become a member to create a blog